MY HEALER, DEPRESSION PART 2

PLEASE read PART 1 before you read part two.

JESUS CHRIST does HEAL. HALLELUJAH.

IF there is ONE thing I TRULY would LOVE to be able to share is that “IN HIS NAME” the FATHER “POSITIONED” and “APPOINTED” all the power and authority over the earth: spiritually and  flesh.

HE is both THE SON OF GOD, and THE SON OF MAN, earning the RIGHT to have power over the FLESH and SPIRITUAL matters in the EARTH, under the EARTH, and IN HEAVEN.

The MOST WONDERFUL and GLORIOUS WISDOM we can posses is the  “knowledge of JESUS CHRIST”:   TO KNOW, WITHOUT a DOUBT, that HE is OUR MESSIAH and the GREAT PHYSICIAN of HIS BODY.

I have had 3 very POWERFUL MIRACULOUS HEALINGS in my life that I wish to share:

1. I suffered from deep depression for 2 years.
2. I had a herniated disc, and 3 budging disc from an accident I had
3. I had cervical cancer.

ONE of the things I can SAY, is SOMETIMES HEALING comes through a NEED for REPENTANCE, and sometimes, it is UNCONDITIONAL either way it is just an all out act of THE LORD’S DIVINE POWER and CHARACTER of MERCY AND GRACE.

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FIRST TESTIMONY: HEALING FROM DEPRESSION.

FIRST, let me make a ‘STATEMENT” about “SERVER DEPRESSION”:

You can’t RUN FROM DEPRESSION, you can’t COVER it up, it will follow you into your closet, it strikes like a “STING OF DEATH”. I believe “DEPRESSION is straight out of hell itself.

It follows you around like a PLEAGUE.  YOU “SUFFER” inwardly unlike any PHYSICAL pain can do, it effects you EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY. Even the MEDICATIONS they offer are NO SUBSTITUTE for this infirmity, for they leave you DULL, and NUMB as a HUMAN BEING and Leave you SPIRITUALLY DESOLATE.

I would not WISH “SERVER DEPRESSION” on my WORST ENEMY. And I WOULD TAKE “ANY” physical pain over this DEBILITATING ILLNESS.

 IF you suffer from severe depression, perhaps this will be a helps to you.

NOTE: I do not possess the KNOWLEDGE or UNDERSTANDING that "ALL' illness are caused by the demonic or by sin. I am not assuming anything in this case, this is a personal testimony of my life.

MANY years ago now, I suffered from “DEEP DEPRESSION ” for approximately… 2 years.

This was not your average “DOWN CAST SPIRIT” LIKE “OH I AM HAVING A BAD DAY FEELING, this was the “SUICIDAL type”, where you just wanted to be DEAD and have life END as you know it.

I think the ONLY thing that kept me from committing suicide was the fact that in my teen years I had already tried this, without success.,  BUT THIS TIME, I had a FAMILY to care for and felt a tremendous RESPONSIBILITY for them, they were  the ONE thing that kept me going day in and day out.

MY LIFE, during that time:  (it has been over 10 years now)

EVERY NIGHT, I begged the LORD to take my life.

To be honest, IT was a GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT to me to find myself ALIVE again each morning.   I ABSOLUTELY hated to “WAKE UP” in the mornings, knowing that I was going to have to face another day of what I perceived as “HELL on earth for me”

AFTER a period of time, I came to a REVELATION, that I was DEPRESSED, “BEFORE” my feet hit the ground, before my day even began. 

I was “DEPRESSED” from just the “IDEA” of facing life just another day.

I began to ask myself, “WHY” was this happening to me??

NOTHING in my DAY had even occurred yet, YET, here I was “ALREADY DEPRESSED” before my feet even touched the FLOOR.

I wake up everyday to a loving family and husband, so I realized, this is a “CONDITION” rather than an ‘EFFECT or CIRCUMSTANCE” of something that was going on in this time of my life.

QUIET, honestly once I  was able to evaluate my condition, the whole thing didn’t  make sense to me.

REALLY, HOW can someone WAKE UP DEPRESSED? 

 I often questioned:

Why was I SO DEPRESSED, I had a wonderful, supportive, loving HUSBAND and a WONDERFUL FAMILY, EVERYTHING a woman would care to have.  This depression had to be CHEMICAL or DEMOICIALLY INFLUENCED, for there was nothing supporting this in my present life.

FOR a long time, I was LIVING a DOUBLE LIFE:

Though my husband was aware of my condition, DAY after DAY, BEFORE the face of my family, I would “SEEK” to put on the “SMILING FACE” before them,  everyday appearing to be that good mom, and a happy wife.>>>>>> I mean REALLY, It wasn’t their fault, THAT I knew for certain.

BUT behind the scenes of my family and the public eye,  DAY after day after my family left for school and my husband would go off to work,  I  would spend MANY hours on the floor of my bedroom, crying out to the LORD heal me, please heal me, I can't live like this.

 I remember thinking.. I am just going to hold onto the hem of JESUS’ garment and not let go till I get HEALING. I  can not EXPRESS with the English language the desperation, pain and agony I was feeling during these times.

I absolutely refused to take the medications the doctors were ordering, because they “NUMBED” me spiritually.  LEFT me with a SPIRITUAL BLOCK, where I couldn’t even PRAY, and PRAYER was the ONLY thing that was getting me through my day.

OH I DID HAVE “FAITH and BELIEVE” I KNEW MY REDEEMER and I KNEW HE COULD HEAL, but HE SIMPLY was NOT healing me. MOST days after HOURS and HOURS of PRAYING, I would get up play my piano, and sing..

“I WILL PRAISE you in the STORM”. Somehow that would bring moments of relief.

THOUGH my healing didn’t come, I was certain with ENOUGH TIME and PRAYER, it was going to happen, because I knew the LORD MUST KNOW, I SIMPLY could not endure this for much longer.

After about 2 years of struggling with this day after day I simply had ENOUGH.

HONESTLY, I became very angry about it all, I was TIRED of my prayers not reaching heaven.  I screamed, I beat the floor, had a tantrums, I was down right ANGRY!!!

 NEEDLESS to say,  here was no real success in that, I only felt exhausted physically and emotional. Well, at least I GOT OUT MY TRUE FEELINGS.

JUST a side note:  Apparently the LORD doesn’t care or respond to tantrums, HE certainly didn’t respond to mine.

FINALLY, through my exhaustion; I was defeated and broken, there was nothing left in me to cry,  and I fully expected and accepted that I this was going to be something that I was going to have to accept and deal with for the REST of MY LIFE, oh mercy me, that is a LONG TIME...

AGAIN, IT certainly was NOT that I didn’t have the “FAITH” or BELIEF” that JESUS COULD HEAL, but HE wasn’t healing me, and I had NO IDEA WHY???

I CAN ONLY PRAY that YOU will not wait so LONG to get here find your PLACE of SURRENDER NOW, instead of doing all the TALKING, sit still and LISTEN to HIS VOICE.

PERHAPS I can save you from some LONG PAINFUL HOURS and YEARS of living in SUFFERING and AGONY.

In my BROKEN state before HIM, the LORD had FINALLY prepared my heart for where HE NEEDED ME TO BE for MY RESTORATION,  I finally reached a place where I had  a TRUE WILLINGNESS to “HEAR” the TRUTH about a HIDDEN condition of my heart.

It was in that DESPERATION and BROKENNESS, that I finally realized I had been ASKING the “WRONG” question for all those years.

 Instead of asking to be HEALED, I needed to know WHY am I not being healed?

I NEED to know HOW to be RESTORED!!!

The NEXT words out of my mouth was:

“LORD, WHY not HEAL ME?”

MY VOICE was heard in HEAVEN that day!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!

The NEXT morning I was awakened by a ‘still small voice” though it was NOT a VOICE that was LOUD or DEMANDING,  rather this VOICE  simply seem to STATE a FACT and I knew within that VOICE contained ALL the power and authority  of the ONE THAT WAS ABLE to DO “ALL” that HE intended.. TO RESTORE ME!!!.

HERE are THE WORDS OF THAT VOICE: (trust me I will NEVER forget them)

Quote: “ACCEPT YOUR SUFFERING, and RECEIVE YOUR HEALING”

FOR the first time in YEARS, I jumped out of bed and went DIRECTLY to my knees. I didn’t quite understand what was being said at the TIME, but what I did know was HE SAID>>… “RECEIVE YOUR HEALING” and whatever it TOOK I was willing to go there.

My very FIRST question was.. “WHAT SUFFERING SHALL I ACCEPT?” for that was the COMMAND of the VOICE, I remained on my knees, listening intently, waiting, silently for HIS REPLY. Not imagining things of my own, just waiting patiently for HIS ANSWER.

Suddenly the LORD began to show me the reason for my GREAT AFFLICTION and SIN.

I HAD EYES TO SEE and EARS TO HEAR NOW!!!

"TO ACCEPT MY SUFFERING" meant I was to PUT MY SUFFERING over my OLD LIFE  to DEATH, not bring it ALIVE in my NEW LIFE....YES, I had suffered greatly, but it SHOULD HAVE NO HOLD over my NEW LIFE in HIM!!!!  I WAS A NEW CREATION IN CHRIST, all things were past away!!!

OH MY LORD, what took me so LONG to realize this..

HE SAID..

2 COR 5: 17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

The PROBLEM is I WASN'T "LIVING IT" because of UNBELIEVE!!!!  
I was not a TESTIMONY to a RESTORED LIFE/NEW LIFE, but a DEAD LIFE that was leaning on a crutch.

Thus I had made HIM a LIAR, by my own ignorance and shame. NOT HONORING HIS GLORY, HIS SACRIFICE or HIS  POWER and AUTHORITY!!

The MOST WONDERFUL TESTIMONY a person has, is their TESTIMONY o GRATITUDE for what HE HAS DONE!!!!

 I was carrying around my OLD LIFE, like some HEAVY CHAIN on my back. I KEPT it ALIVE within me, continuously giving it BREATH,  all the pain and suffering that I had had as a child was STILL ALIVE, seeking to live all its pains and sorrows in my present life.

I was NOT PUTTING away my OLD LIFE that I could live in the NEW LIFE that HE offered me through HIS RESURRECTED LIFE.

 I was making excuses for MY LIFE.

I “BELIEVED”  I was so stupid, uneducated, didn’t have all the BENEFITS or OPPORTUNITIES that others had, by not having a “GOOD GODLY, Supportive  FAMILY in my childhood”.  POUTING like a child  and envying the lives of others, who from my prospective were beautiful, and smart. I had no SELF ESTEEM, because of my past life was running parallel to my present NEW LIFE. 

  

 I was LIVING my NEW LIFE out of my PAST LIFE.     

WHAT a WONDERFUL revelation!!! WOW here I was almost 20 years into a NEW LIFE, and I was STILL living out of the EFFECTS/CURSE/FORCES of my OLD LIFE.

I SERIOUSLY needed to “CAST DOWN this IMAGINATION, that was EXALTING itself “AGAINST or ABOVE” the “HIGHER POWER”  KNOWLEDGE OF GOD, and what HE HAD DONE FOR ME.

2 COR 10: 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God.

To CAST DOWN, means to PUT TO DEATH,  not to breath LIFE back into it...

 I was LIVING out of the imaginations of my OLD LIFE, bring LIFE back into something that SHOULD NOT EXIST anymore.

I had been RESCUED and DELIVERED out of the OLD LIFE, and yet I was LIVING in the "curse" of the OLD LIFE.

IT NEEDED to be “PUT TO DEATH” and NOT GIVE IT “BREATH AGAIN”.

  “ALL THINGS ARE PASSED AWAY”

THERE was nothing in my NEW LIFE to hold me back, BECAUSE OF HIM,  I had  OPPORTUNITIES to LIVE IN LIBERTY, FREEDOM in “SPIRITUAL VICTORY” over my OLD PAST LIFE.

 I simply needed to put my OLD LIFE, to death,  BURY IT, and RISE to that “SPIRITUAL VICTORY and NEW LIFE” that JESUS PAID a very COSTLY PRICE for.

Did you know that it “UNBELIEVE and SIN” when we do not BELIEVE HE cast our SINS far away, AND GIVES US NEW LIFE.... That “WE” do not count HIS SACRIFICE as SUFFICENT to offer us NEW LIFE? 

To be SAVED means to BE HEALED, HEALING comes from the SAME “FAITH” as FAITH IN HIM for SALVATION.

I REPENTED OF MY “IMAGINATIONS and MY GREAT SIN before HIM” and CONFESSED JESUS CHRIST DID HAVE TO POWER TO BRING and BREATHE  “NEW LIFE”  INTO ME, and that MY NEW LIFE would procede as HE PLANNED and PURPOSED in my life, from that day forward...

I left my KNEES that DAY, HEALED and RESTORED, NEVER again to return to that “DEPRESSION.

 I STILL SINGING HIS PRAISES today as MY  LORD and KING  and  I  AM ALWAYS REMINDED, that because OF WHAT HE DID, I AM OFFERED “NEW LIFE” and A “NEW BEGINNING”.

PROFESSING and GIVING TESTIMONY:

“ I AM SET FREE by HIS POWER and HIS TRUTH,  and I DON’T LIVE THERE ANYMORE”  For my OLD LIVE is PAST AWAY!!!

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BY HIS TRUTH and HIS HEALING POWER and AUTHORITY.

PRAISE MY SAVIOR and KING.

MY REDEEMER and HEALER:

THE LORD SAID. HE is SEEKING those that will WORSHIP HIM in TRUTH and SPIRIT. 

  ARE you seeking the TRUTH, that YOU can BE HEALED and RESTORED?

IF you are suffering from DEPRESSION, don't allow the enemy to keep you in deception. IT isn't always about your circumstances, but maybe more about your condition.....

PERHAPS you TOO need to CONFESS and REPENT that you are STILL living out of your OLD LIFE?  To do so, MEANS the CONDITIONS Of YOUR LIFE have CHANGED, and you can LOOK forward to a NEW BEGINNING with HIM daily, intimately walking in FELLOWSHIP with the LORD.

I PRAY YOU will  SEEK the TRUTH, that you can be HEALED and RESTORED to that NEW LIFE. For as LONG as that SUN SHINES outside, there is still OPPORTUNITY for RESTORATION!!!!  AMEN

JOHN 4: 23  But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

I pray that gives you some HOPE and ENCOURAGEMENT TODAY, to SEEK OUT HIS FACE, and that YOU WILL KNOW that OUR REDEEMER LIVES and HE IS STILL a HEALER EVEN TODAY.

I hope this has been a service to you in some way, and that the LORD will find the PRAISE that I OFFER HIS NAME... AMEN

To be continued….


PRAISE YOU IN THE STORM: